From Bonfire to Candle Flame

 


In this blog I am going to share my feelings and emotions as I grow as a new Christian and as a man.
I am going to write about once a week maybe more. God has laid this on my heart to do and I am going to follow.

   Being a new Christian may be one of the hardest things that I have ever done.  I was a "Christian" when I was in high school but I see now that I wasn't really.  I did that to make my parents and others happy and to make myself feel less convicted when I sat in the church.

   At first I was on fire like no one else in the world.  I was ready to storm hell and fight the Devil in a boxing match.  But that fire turned into a small flame and then that flame turned to a candle in a breezy room.  I now feel like a flickering candle that sometimes goes out and someone has to come by and re light. I have been back sliding and falling into old habits that I thought I had swept away.  That doesn't change the fact that my new love for God is still there.

   Sitting in church this morning my mind struggled with this fact.  I felt empty sitting in church and all alone.  I was struggling with a lot this morning.  I was talking to God sitting in my spot and telling him I was sorry for back sliding and living the way I was.  But the whole time I was feeling so alone in a room full of people.

   It was then that the Holy Spirit came in and showed opened my eyes.  He began to move in the congregation and began to speak to us about family and how the family is the key to the church as a whole.  And I realized the emptiness that I was feeling was because I had fallen so far from where I wanted to be as a father and husband.  I was not leading my family in a way that showed my love for God.

   It is amazing how the Holy Spirit came come in and use everyone in the room to help one person.  Even when no one else can see the struggles that you are having God does and he will send the great comforter to help you through the situation.